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MOON APPLES
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DON’T TAKE IT’S HAND/HEART-THING THESE POKEMON; THEY ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN. THOSE THINGS ARE KNOWN TO CARRY OFF CHILDREN THAT MISTAKE THEM FOR A BALLOON AND GRAB THAT HEART-THING, AND TAKE THEM AWAY. AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE CHILDREN? THEY NEVER COME BACK. POOF, GONE, I HOPE YOU LIKED THOSE KIDS WHEN YOU HAD THEM MOM, BECAUSE THOSE FUCKERS AREN’T COMING BACK. YES, THEY LOOK CUTE. THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT, THEY ARE FUCKING TRAPS, THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THAT SO THEY CAN CARRY YOU OFF TO HELL. NO, REALLY. A QUOTE FROM BULBAPEDIA:  It’s round and cute, but it has a dreadful side too, as it attempts to drag children into the underworld by their hands. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THESE FUCKERS ARE FORMED BY THE SPIRITS OF POKEMON AND PEOPLE. SO THESE THINGS HAD BEEN ALIVE ONCE? WELL, THAT’S FUCKING GREAT, I WONDER WHAT GRUDGES THEY HAVE FROM THEIR PAST LIFE. OH, AND ONCE YOU NEARLY HAVE ALL IT’S HP GONE? IT COMMITS SUICIDE BY SELF-DESTRUCTING. WELL, ISN’T THAT JUST A BALL OF RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THIS BITCH HAS A BASE STAT OF 70 SPEED. THAT MEANS YOU’VE GOT NEARLY THREE POUNDS OF DEATH COMING STRAIGHT AT YOU. AND IF THIS THING HAS THE ABILITY UNBURDEN? THAT ITEM IT JUST LOST MAKES IT’S SPEED DOUBLE.  HOLY SHIT. A CONCLUSION? THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING.

DON’T TAKE IT’S HAND/HEART-THING THESE POKEMON; THEY ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN. THOSE THINGS ARE KNOWN TO CARRY OFF CHILDREN THAT MISTAKE THEM FOR A BALLOON AND GRAB THAT HEART-THING, AND TAKE THEM AWAY. AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE CHILDREN? THEY NEVER COME BACK. POOF, GONE, I HOPE YOU LIKED THOSE KIDS WHEN YOU HAD THEM MOM, BECAUSE THOSE FUCKERS AREN’T COMING BACK.

YES, THEY LOOK CUTE. THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT, THEY ARE FUCKING TRAPS, THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THAT SO THEY CAN CARRY YOU OFF TO HELL. NO, REALLY. A QUOTE FROM BULBAPEDIA: 

It’s round and cute, but it has a dreadful side too, as it attempts to drag children into the underworld by their hands.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THESE FUCKERS ARE FORMED BY THE SPIRITS OF POKEMON AND PEOPLE. SO THESE THINGS HAD BEEN ALIVE ONCE? WELL, THAT’S FUCKING GREAT, I WONDER WHAT GRUDGES THEY HAVE FROM THEIR PAST LIFE.

OH, AND ONCE YOU NEARLY HAVE ALL IT’S HP GONE? IT COMMITS SUICIDE BY SELF-DESTRUCTING. WELL, ISN’T THAT JUST A BALL OF RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THIS BITCH HAS A BASE STAT OF 70 SPEED. THAT MEANS YOU’VE GOT NEARLY THREE POUNDS OF DEATH COMING STRAIGHT AT YOU. AND IF THIS THING HAS THE ABILITY UNBURDEN? THAT ITEM IT JUST LOST MAKES IT’S SPEED DOUBLE.  HOLY SHIT.

A CONCLUSION? THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING.

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